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SIMON CHAINSAW

& THE HIPPY KILLERS (BERLIN CHAPTER)

                        

SIMON CHAINSAW'S VERY OWN ACCOUNT OF THE POPKOMM 2006 EXPO AND SHOWS ....TONGUE FIRMLY PLACED IN CHEEK!

It´s just gone New Year 2006 and I´m on the beach in the south of Brazil. Imbe, about 1 ½ hours drive from where I live... It´s a cool beach, I like it and we are gonna eat CHURRASCO tonite. So I head into town to buy some meats for the eats, coals for the fire and ice for the beers and CAIPIRINHAS. I stop in at a internet cafe to check in. It´s been over a week and I usually check my emails more often than that. . It´s over 35 degrees and there´s no air conditioning in the internet cafe, just fans. The fan blows a hot wind in my face. I check the emails.... spam, spam, a friend, more spam, Mutti´s Booking Büro..... wait a minute, I know them. They are one of the best agencys in Germany with some great bands like the Bellrays, Turbo-Acs, Peter Pan Speedrock .... that´s why I sent them a promo kit. I open the email, Its from Mutti himself, head honcho of the organisation telling me they like my stuff and are inviting me to play at POPKOMM later in the year. POPKOMM is Germanys biggest Music fair/expo with thousands of stalls and all the labels, distributors, bookers, press etc that you could hope to find all in the ONE place at the ONE time. This is f#*king great news!, I don´t even bother with the other emails. I race outta there in a hot sweat. Tonite we´ll eat PICANHA. Coz there´s gonna be a celebration!..........................

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1. the guitars - 2x 70´s Les Paul standards, 1x 68 Les Paul Custom, 1x 70´s Tele  2. Simon stressed  3.coffee-bean-scene

................................I arrived in Hannover a few days before the shows. The flight was OK but the 6 hours transit in Sao Paulo, 3 hours in Amsterdam and the 3 hour the train ride after arrival really took the edge off what could have been a comfortable 16 hours flying time!! So more than 24 hours later, and after catching the wrong train I might add.... I end up wrongly in the small town of SARSTEDT, whose main claim to fame is for being the home town of the fabulously famous SCORPIONS, certainly one of germanys longest running and biggest selling rock bands of all time (if not THE biggest). I found myself singing WINDS OF CHANGE & STILL LOVING YOU while scouring the stations window sills, and toilet doors for “THE SCORPIONS” scratched by their very own hands decades before, maybe with a lick or 2 of paint covering the historic carving. I imagined that Klaus Meiner (the singer) had also walked along this very  platform singing to himself just before his big break.....I raised my voice just a little so that everyone could see that I was obviously walking in his footsteps. I ward off their perplexed looks and hidden sniggers.. Don't they know their own town's musical history?? Phillistines! ..........But even tho´ I was tired, lost, and a bit out of sorts, I took this detour as a good sign.  

2 hous later, I´m back on the right track and get to Hannover... now, time to relax!!  Old buddy STEPHAN meets me, we hightail back to his place and  trade stories. Stephan is kinda a living legend in Germany. He formed one of the 1st German extreme Punk bands MOTTEK (whose 1st disc was recently remastered and re-released in Japan, and since then a new disc has been recorded and will be out soon), he produced many underground German punk bands and is currently SONNY VINCENTS right hand guitar man. STEPHAN will play the solo guitar for these shows and he´s real excited to start rehearsing. By coincidence there´s a recording studio nearby, and in town for just a couple of days recording is another old buddy...our mutual buddy.... somehow he knows I´ve just arrived (I guess Stephan told him) SONNY VINCENT  arrives with a 6 pack, a big smile and a bunch of funny stories. So I drink his beers, and as always the 3 of us talk long into the night solving the worlds problems, trading tour stories and creating the perfect plan for success. I´m kinda jetlagged, so finally I head to sleep, but not before Sonny invites me to record a guitar track the next day for his next album!! WOW!!

    

with SONNY VINCENT

Next morning, früstuck!! A continental breakfast...Afterall I am on the continent now.  Brötchen, shinken, and boiled eggs. Then we head to the studio. It´s a real sunny day, 26 deg Cel, and just a hint of a breeze. I´m a bit jetlagged so we stop and drink a LARGE coffee on a sidewalk cafe in the cool LISTE district and for just a few moments the world feels at peace.

TUE 20 SEPT

NEW ROSE RADIO

   

I borrow a ´78 les Paul standard, it´s solid and real heavy, I´m used to an SG these days and they´re much lighter. The Paul has soapbar pickups, it´s got a great vintage sound. Sonny shows me the track and turns the speakers up before long the guitar is slung low... mainly due to it´s weight (somehow the lower a guitar gets to the ground, the lighter it becomes) and my hands are flying, the pick tearing thru the strings, sweat dripping from my brow. Half an hour later the main rhythm track for KILLING FOR GOD is recorded, it sits in perfectly with Sonny´s leads and frills and cuts thru the bass and drums to make the song soar! My heart is pumping and my new shirt is wet from sweat. We trade some more stories and drink another large coffee in the sun, what a way to start the tour!! I know it´s all gonna be good.

Next day G. VINCENT, bass player with France´s rawk survivors HOLY CURSE arrives from Paris for rehearsal. Vinz as we call him, hot from a japanese tour, played on my recordings in France for the NOVA EXPRESS label. The DOWN TO THE WIRE cd and 3 tracks on a split cd KAISER BORDELLO. STEF MÖHLE the drummer is already there... he lives about 10 clicks down the road. Stef has recorded with me on many a track since the early Badass Roadshow days, he also guests on 2 tracks on the TOLD ME A LIE disc, and is responsible for about  70% of the drums on FUCK THE NEIGHBOURS (my australian 70´s punk tribute disc). So after a bit of chit chat we get down for the 1st rehearsal. The guys have had the songlist for a couple of weeks now to learn the songs at home but it´s not till you play them without the cd that you really get to know the songs. The boys have done a good job.... sure a number of rough edges and we´ve only got 2 days for rehearsals so no time for joking now... I crack the whip and we play till we fall. But they are in good spirits and the songs come together real fast.

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1. the sky over Kreuzberg   2. Cortado Berlin Style!   3. Church   4. old east/west berlin border

If anyone knows me they know I have a tendency to get a little stressed... and I GET a little stressed (actually very f#*king stressed!!), but it´s all a part of the process. There´s a lot riding on this... we will play beside Peter PanSpeedrock and Baby Woodrose, infront of MUTTI our euro booker for the first time and the many labels, distributors, media, other industry types.....not to mention the FANS!!  I got a break,  2 showcases at POPKOMM, it´s tough enough with all those great bands playing in Berlin for POPKOMM... so we blow either one and i might as well pack up shop and head home Anyway... just getting out of bed in the morning is a caculated risk these days but these guys are GREAT musicians, that´s why they´re here.....

Two days of reheasals later and we load up the car to head to Berlin!! Another great sunny day. We drive through the country side... it´s amazing just how much of Germany is still countryside. Farms, neatly kempt fields, flowers..... The huge propeller windmills of the wind farms loom like giant masters governing an ordered society, these wind farms double or triple in numbers every year and certainly a much better than other dirty means of creating energy...It´s hard to beleive that people actually complain about them. I wonder how many girations of one of these giants we will use to power up the marshalls and ampegs, to keep the pa system running into the red,  to keep the fridges fired and the beer chilled for us to kick out more than just the jams.

POPKOMM

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1. outside the POPKOMM    2. being interviewed for Finnish magazine    3. outside the WILD AT HEART window

Our crew guy is ERDURAN. He does it all... driver/merch/loading/babysitting-.. he´s a local Berlin KREUZBERG guy. He grew up there before the wall fell, when Kreuzberg was the dead end of West Berlin. He grew up just blocks from Berlin´s first punk club, the SO36, coincidently that´s where we´ll play our 1st show. I remember being in Kreuzburg in ´89, just before the reunification and they were mean streets where punks, hippys, bikers and immigrants lived. It was kinda lawless..... and We are gonna be staying in KREUZBERG too.... EXCELENT!!

So we check in with Mutti, he shows us our quarters, a small room behind the office, 2 double bunks , barely enough room to swing a cat but there´s no cat anyway... I´m thinking JAILHOUSE ROCK!! Yeah! I´ll just get some grease and comb my hair into a quiff.  We are also right on ORANIENSTR.. the main drag!!  PERFECT!... We head over to the radio station. NEW ROSE radio... named after the DAMNED song, so we already know what to expect. We meet NOLTI, a big Fan of S.C.H.K. who has been flogging our stuff madly and as nice a guy as you could hope to meet. We head into the interview, it´s all in german, but hey, it´s their airwaves and they´re playing about 10 of my tracks, so who am I to complain. NOLTI asks some questions, I answer and he translates, so i keep it simple!!  Because it´s POPKOMM we are sharing the program with Mutti and he´s talking about his showcases, and what´s cool about that is that he spends a long time talking about S.C.H.K.!!

SO36

     

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1. with the COLOMBIAN NECKTIES    2. with new fans

Tonite is a free night (no show) and MUTTIS BOOKING BÜRO is having a POPKOMM WELCOME party at the FRANKEN.. also in the main drag and right accross the road from the SO36... it turns out to be our bermuda triangle!! No studio rehearsal today so we have an accoustic jam of the songs on our bunks...this really is Jailhouse rock style!  Then we head up to the Franken... the beer is flowing and the stars are out!  It´s party time in Berlin. Nolti is already there and we get into some big music discussion, we meet everyone from the agency, a bunch of other bands, fans, and assorted industry types. The new PETER PAN SPEEDROCK DVD is previewed, (it´s great), MUTTI is spinning the discs and handing out the mini caipirinhas.... we hang out and then get some streetside chinese takeaway in the early hours.

Next morning, I gotta swing into busness mode at the POPKOMM fair. It´s full of  movers, shakers, dealmakers and chartbreakers. I head down the dark deadend that is the independent section. I walk my walk, talk my talk then strutt up to the bigger companies and country exhibits. I give away discs like hotcakes, pretend I know exactly who needs to hear my records (just 5 mins after reading their name in the guide book) but don´t actually meet any of them, coz they are already off doing the deals that will see MTV and major radio grooving in the year to come! I do a couple of Interviews for scandanavian magazines, who seem to think that Brazilian music is just SEPULTURA or BOSSA NOVA, I get alot of interest from the eastern european countries, where I actually find myself in lengthy discussions when what I´m really there to do is give my discs to the heavyweights that will listen to the first 15 seconds and then throw it in the bin. Still, it keeps the CD manufacturing plants in business and gives us all our place in the food chain.  I drink some free giveaway sugarless black soda pop that tastes no different to the other sugarless black soda pop which is it´s main rival and just as I´m getting into the swing of it all Edawan informs me that we gotta bail for soundcheck.

THURS 21ST - KATO

        

There´s nothing EVER interesting about a sound check, the best it gets is that you set yr stuff up, you get good monitors and it´s over with the least amount of trouble, and that was our case today and I was grateful for that. The SO36 is a large club and the system and techs were great. We ran thru the set as a final practice. So now just dinner, changing strings and waiting to get onstage. The catering here was great and I can´t wait to play there again. I really don´t know what to say about the show. It would be better to slip in a review here, if I find one I will... but we played real good. Nolti from NEW ROSE radio was there to cheer us on and the crowd were really receptive.

We ripped through a mix of songs off most of my discs, from BASTA, TOLD ME A LIE, the unreleased ROCK´N´ROLL URANUS, the new (soon to be released) disc BE YOUR DRUG, and my Aussie Punk covers disc FUCK THE NEIGHBOURS. Not really a Best–of, more of a SIMON CHAINSAW style hi-energy, in your face rock´n´roll fest with a sleazy mid tempoed jam in the middle.

After the show I hang out at the the merch counter, we sold pretty good for a more or less unkown band. Lots of people stopped by to congratuate, wish us luck and say how they were surprised that it was SO good! The bulk of the buyers bought 2 items, not just one. 2 discs or a disc and a t shirt, one guy liked the show so much he bought the “collection!!” , so i bought him a beer!.. and one guy bought me a collection of  beers!! So I gave him a CD. It was a great night, everyone at MUTTIS was very happy with the S.C.H.K. “BERLIN CHAPTER”. After load out we went back to the FRANKEN for some relaxing drinks and talk with the fans. It was a late night, so we didn´t rise too early the next day.

 

Checkpoint Charlie

For breakfast Eduwan took us to a cafe called the drunken boat in french, and as usual we eat bread rolls salami, schinken and smelly runny french cheese! The cheese tastes really good but Vinz (the only french one here) says it´s too strong. The coffees were good, called CORTADO just like we call it in Brazil, I guess the guy must have been there one time. We sit in the sun and seems that no-one in the neighbourhood is working... they are all just drinking coffee. I´ve still got some discs left so I head back the POPKOMM to do more business. I catch the U- BAHN and catch some of the sites before it heads underground. Berlin is looking good.

I arrive at the Messe Halle to be greeted with the same free back sugarless soda pop... I drink it anyway, they beep my barcode and again I enter a world of very serious people. I guess someones making big bucks there, it sure ain´t me!, there´s free coffees, beers, candys, CDs, contact books.. you name it. There´s lots of meetings, deals being signed for full catalogues in 10 mins flat, and lives being used as pawns in this dirty dirty buisness.... As Hunter S Thomson once said...” The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There´s also a negative side of it”... If this is the negative side the free coffees are great. I´m a little more organised today, I got some contact books the day before from the country stalls and even looked in the official guide book, circled my targets. I´ve made up the little packages (disc, sticker,bio etc) so I don´t have to compile piece by piece at each individual stand. But of course who I want to talk to is already turning the cogs of this industry with some other equally important spoke. A few of the lesser well heeled from the dark dead end congratulate me on a great show the night before... but with no offers of 6 figure deals, 5 star lunches or even 1 star hotels. That´s probly for the best... I´m not sure I could get used to the lifestyle. Finally with the last of the discs gone I have to bid the captains of industry a fond farewell and luck to keep the hits coming. I grab my last free black sugarless sodapop and head for the Ubahn back to Kreuzberg.

I´m woken from my sleep by a uniformed man gibering to me “alles in ordnung??” I´ve been sleeping on the train and this uniformed happy chappy wants to see my ticket. Maybe he picked me as being a homeless, or drugged out or something...Fortunately being a good tourist I actually buy my ticket, unlike the thousands of Berliners who daily travel on a “free” metro system. I showed my ticket and off he trotted calling happily announcing his intention to check tickets, thus giving the freeloaders time to move to the carriage ahead and get off at the next stop.

SAT 23 THE BUNKER - CHEMNITZ

                     

        

Tonite we play at the KATO, it´s literally on an island in the middle of an intersection. An X crossing with 2 lanes per road meets with a roundabout in the middle, and the club sits otop of the island and under a UBAHN station!  Of course we get there at peak hour, so how are we gonna get the equipment out of the cars? We circle the island one time searching for the door to enter. A second time and we start to look like a couple sharks going in for the kill... we slow down for a better look and cars behind us honk... so we stop and Stephan gets out and searches for the entrance as we circle again. He waves to us and we stop right outside the loading door.... much to the chargrin of those behind us, as we make the traffic bottle into 1 lane. We get in and BABY WOODROSE is just finishing their sound check. It´s loud but sounds good. The beer fridge is already stocked an unlocked!! Suddenly it´s about 3 liters lighter!..but that´s no problem there must be 150 liters still there! (actually later in the night they have to restock as the thirsty band guys make quick work of it) we ramble thru our soundcheck and all is set for the show, just then dinner is announced! Great food, coffee and company. We chat amongst the other bands.. from Denmark, Germany, Finland, Sweden. It´s clear that english really is the world language... does anyone remember “esperanca” ?  Some speak better than others... some better than me!! (that wouldn´t be too hard my father would say.) But everyone communicates, soon we will build a tower to god, then he´ll have to destoy our civilisation and means of dialogue ....... come to think of it I think our world leaders are taking good care of that last part.

windfarms

Nolti from New Rose Radio is there cheering us on again. A smaller crowd tonite, no HUGE names on the bill... and Radio Birdman is playing down the road somewhere so we ain´t expecting a full house. But that doesn´t dampen my enthusiasm, infact I´m feeling better then the night before. First show stress is  gone. We know the songs and know that we can play them good so I´m alot more relaxed. Same set again tonite, but just to keep us on our toes, we add one more from the DOWN TO THE WIRE album, “GET ON WITH THE SHOW”... it´s a ripper.

     

Right when we are due to play the bass amp does not fire up... it´s got a trick to it, Stephan does his best Fonzie move, a controlled thump in just the right place.. and it screams into action... “ICH BIN EIN BERLINER” and we tear into “EIGHT TIMES LUCKY”. We rock and we roll our way thru the set and finish with “one for the road”. In the quiet break after the solo, just bass, drums and the dynamic down real low I introduce my band, the crowd whoops and screams, I thank Mutti, Nolti and everyone who helped us and we tear into the final chorus... “it´s late and i´m tired and I need to unload... so give me one for the road”.... Thank you!! And that´s it, showcase over. There´s a distributor keen to talk with me, a record company gal also wants a word. With the sweat burning my eyes, I sit for a minute and take it all in... the fridge gets lighter and so does my heart, now I can enjoy myself, and I do, a little too much!

at the SUBWAY, Chemnitz

We rise late again, too late for breakfast and we´ve got the long drive back to Hannover ahead of us... f#*k breakfast, I´m sick of shinken and brötchen anyway.... we head for Arabian steaks and pasta and eat our fill!!.. Just as well, we take the wrong turn and almost end up at Munich.. we laugh about this for days!   The following day we play at CHEMNITZ at the Bunker, which really is an old WW2 bunker. Chemitz used to be called KARL MARX STADT (city) in the East German days.... but this show is a story best saved for another day... and besides, if you've read this far you are probably anxious to get on to do something else, but needless to say all was well in SCHK STADT that night!!

The next day seems to last forever, it´s always like that on the road, the 1st day or so after some shows seems endless. It´s a sunny day, must hit 26 degrees... even hotter in the sun. We have a BBQ German style, “grillen”  they call it. I throw on the SCHWEINE-FLEISCH and grab a cold one...

SUN 24TH BBQ !!!!!

  

...first thing I´m gonna do when I hit Brazil is have a CHURRASCO... with PICANHA!!  Coz there's gonna be a celebration!

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